PC&CC counselor Beret Moyer is an avid reader who often recommends books to clients and friends alike.

     One of her favorite recommendations is Reinventing Your Life by Jeffery Young, Janet Klosko and Aaron Beck. Written by two cognitive psychotherapists, this book describes 11 behavior patterns the authors call “lifetraps.” According to the authors, lifetraps are repetitive and destructive acts associated with a negative self-image. “I have recommended this book to many clients who have seen themselves through a new lens after reading it,” Moyer explains. “Once clients identify and accept their personal ‘lifetrap,’ they are on their way to real change.” The book includes a self-assessment questionnaire and programs for change based on specific, identified lifetraps.

     On a more devotional note, Moyer often returns to Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging by Brennan Manning. “This is a book that can be read slowly over time,” she says. “I have offered it to clients who experience low self esteem and who are confused about who they are in God’s eyes.” Brennan describes the temptation of believing in what he calls our “imposter” or our false self. “This image strikes a chord in all of us who have experienced self-hatred, insecurity, and/or been afraid to experience our true selves,” Moyer says. “Brennan's personal confessions and intimate stories help the reader see that we are God's beloved, his special creation, and that he wants what is best for us. Part of this divine desire is that we love ourselves, because God tells us to love others as we love ourselves.”

Moyer works in PC&CC’s offices in Bethesda and Dupont Circle. She may be reached at 202-449-3789 x711.

     Most mothers will say that having a baby was one of the most important activities of their lives. At the same time, most mothers also will say that parenthood is more challenging than they had anticipated. The so-called “baby blues” are a common, short-term experience of depressive symptoms following childbirth experienced by between 60 and 80 percent of women. But the dividing line between baby blues and actual postpartum depression may be difficult to discern.

     The following are a few categories of postpartum conditions that are more severe and distinguishable from the baby blues:

     Postpartum Depression Syndrome – A woman experiencing the physical and emotional symptoms of clinical depression including feeling sad most of the time, trouble concentrating, crying at least once a day, has no interest in the thing she used to enjoy, insomnia, feeling like a failure, lack of energy and appetite, and feeling hopeless about the future.

     Postpartum Stress Syndrome – Otherwise known as Adjustment disorder, this condition is characterized by a maladaptive reaction to an identifiable stressor. Features include mood disturbance, ineffective coping, impaired problem-solving, ineffective stress management, low self-esteem, weakened social interaction, and a lack of social support.

     Postpartum Anxiety Syndromes – These include Postpartum Panic disorder (inability to catch breath, pounding heart, shaking, nausea, dizziness, feeling like one is about to die or have a heart attack) and Obsessive Compulsive disorder (recurrent intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors that cause distress, or repeated urges or images that cannot be ignored).

     Postpartum Crisis Psychosis – The very rare circumstance where a woman has hallucinations or delusions. This condition may result in the harm of a child, yet it is more common for it to result in the suicide of the mother.

     The postpartum cycle may be broken by identifying negative thought patterns, setting limits, asserting yourself to say no, talking about your feelings with others, creating options, and distracting yourself. It is also recommended that one seek professional support as well as help from family and friends.

Information culled from Therapist’s Guide to Clinical Intervention by Sharon L. Johnson.

     So often we want to hold on to love because we think that’s the way we can keep it. We want it so badly we squeeze it to death or we’re so afraid it will leave that we chase it away. But the trick is to not try so hard.

     Love wants us as much as we want love, but it wants us on its own terms, when it feels like coming, in the moseying time that it feels like arriving, with the plans that it has in mind.

     So let go. Let go of your hopes, your dreams, and your fears, your beliefs about the way you think love ought to have been or should now be. Let go of love as you want it so that, finally, you can take hold of love as it is.

– From A Garland of Love by Daphne Rose Kingma.

Our "Getting the Love You Want" workshops for couples can serve as excellent premarital preparation or as a way to supercharge a couple's ongoing marriage counseling. Past attendees have described the experience as powerful, deeply spiritual, inspiring, and fun. The two-day course offers the equivalent of 6 months in couples counseling work. The next Washington, DC workshops will be April 26-27 and July 11-13. Click here for more information.

On May 1 we will be offering a new therapy group called QuarterLife+10. It is a group for unmarried professionals in their mid-20s to mid-30s who want to explore issues related to work/career, personhood/identity, spirituality, relationships, and more, in a supportive, open environment. You'll begin exploring the question: Where am I now and where do I want to be in 10 years? Click here for more information.